Female (ness)
I identify with the belief that women should have equally opportunity to choose their destiny like men do.
Feminism for me is total agency of the female individual. Her existence is not hinged on what the man wants nor what he can handle. She is not a tool for the man.
I choose for myself a simple life where I have no need to work or clean or cook... lol You could say I want to be a pet. But really all I want to do is be a wife and mother. I see no greater use of my time. Dont get me wrong Im pretty anept for work and I like it, and I aspire to be a psychotherapist. But there is a toxic expectation to be wonderwoman; I think this ideal was brought on by feminism and patriarchy clash in the last 20 years or so.
The presure of a woman's life is as difficult if not more than the man's. For the patriarchiacal POV she must cook, clean, raises children, please others, and anchors relationships. With the feminism movement POV she is a friend, she hardworking employee, and she is a full time activist. With both these POVs there is an implict and often explicit desire and declaration that women must do it all.
The daily overwhelming female gender role prescription both Feminist and patriarchichal is heavily entrenched in us throughout our upbringing. If we cannot mee the over the top standards of beauty, grace and all things feminine she is condemmed. She recieves no slack or space to deal with and overcome all that she is expected to do. This is horrible situation for self esteem, self efficacy, and unconditional self love. All these things impact my person and I would not be surprised if these factors impact others too.
Now mix in the subject of race and see that there is even greater difficulty. For the most part patriarchy has been against the black female form up until recent years (and still that is a struggle). The feminist movement did not consider black women for a long time and still many of the initative do not speak to the nuanced experience of the black female. The colonists have ruined the perception of black woman they made us out to be only good for sex.
To conclude this 3 part messy blog rant I want to reiterate the main points. I am thrown into a specific location in both time and space (Millennial, & New Normal era), in a particular orientation (Black and Female), all of which I did not choose for myself.
And yet despite being the second sex and the other race I am not sad nor angry with my being in this world. I am so thankful for life and what God has in store for me.
Things are rough, and yet by God's grace I am so full of joy, and optimism. I am staying the course with patience, love, and understanding.
Welcome to my journey of self discovery.
To all the women I've been before, I see your growth sis.
Kelsey
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