The Mindfulness Movement has been sweeping across social media platforms, traditional and non traditional workplaces (especially) over that last 4 years. It's aim is to help people gain perspective on what is going on in and around them. It functions to assist or guide us on how to come to terms with situations, people, and the self in a compassionate way.
Although the mindfulness movement is trendy, it is not new practice in the slightest... I understand Mindfulness as being a practice of being 'still' in the present moment, observing, and appreciating the circumstances around and within you. This is a reflective practice, and reflection is something people do without much thought.
I believe that reflection is an important practice that everyone should develop. I say 'practice' because you can never be perfect at it, but it is a habit that strives for -and often results in- better outcomes each time. Reflection IS being mindful, and having a practice of reflection is a preventative mental health strategy (source). In reflection we get the chance to sort, evaluate, appreciate, and learn more about the self.
Here's how I functionalize the 4 purposes of Reflection:
1. Sort- Reflection helps to sort out the order of events, themes, and feelings you have with the environment and the situation that you are in.
2. Evaluate- Reflection give space to observe, and to qualify how themes, feelings, and past experiences connect to the focused topic at hand. In this space you can qualify themes, behavior, & situations into categories.
3. Appreciate- Reflection helps us to see the silverlinings in hard and difficult situations, and highlights the unchanging things we can be thankful for (i.e. life).
4. Grow- Reflection is how we learn, that's why kids get homework, students write papers, etc. these are activities that forces the student to go deeper into the 'What'. Without reflecting on what we heard, experienced or read, we cannot retain the meaning or knowledge long term. John Dewey said it best:
"We do not learn from experience... we learn from reflecting on experience"-John Dewey
These functions aren't necessarily completed in stages, they are more like salient moments in my reflective practice. Depending on the event, behavior, attitude, or person I'm reflecting on, I ponder different things at varying lengths of time.
Regardless of what I am reflecting on I try to look inward in an objective yet compassionate way. It was Kristen Neff that said that this kind of self compassion works if you treat yourself like your best friend (Self Compassion Seminar, 2021). Providing honest observations but not in a ruthless fashion like we can often do to the self. Over time it gets easier to give yourself truth illuminating and compassionate feedback that won't leave you feeling discontented (Neff, 2021).
For me I am in a constant place of cultivating, and increasing my own self awareness and self compassion. This requires that I reflect on a daily basis, as an introvert (most of the time) I spend a a good chunk of my day alone unplugged to do this work. My reflective practice is nowhere near perfect... but these are some tips that has helped me to get to move past heart breaks, consolidate wins and find peace.
Kelsey's Tips for Reflection*:
-Find a quiet space, preferably alone-
I like to go for Mental health walks in the evening after work.
-Start thinking about something easy to reflect on
(My go to is I'm gonna buy a dog, or Lockdown life sucks).
-Let your thoughts wander
(usually if recurring thoughts will take center stage)
-Take notice of what is happening in your body
(If your heart suddenly starts racing, palms sweat, tears, belly ache, head aches etc.)
- Instead of trying to quickly resolve the discomfort (i.e. stop thinking about said thing) open up that tender spot a bit more and welcome discomfort.
(Be willing to cry, scream, or be frustrated. Feeling all the feels is SO important)
- Ask yourself the 5 W's
"What, Where, When Who, & Why (add how does that make you feel).
- Name the feeling(s).
(Is it anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration, hopelessness, impatience, gratitude?)
-Keep a note of the feeling(s) and try to talk to someone about it if possible.
Speaking some of the concerns aloud with someone you trust is emotion focused coping and a problem solving strategy. Speaking with someone else, (preferably a professional, or at least someone who you can trust) gives you the space to have your feelings and concerns validated (which is so necessary)! As well gives you the chance to hear a different perspective, get feedback. Journalling is also a great way to write it out too (nothing beats human connection though!)
-Pray
I am a Christian woman and I brings all things to prayer. Whether that be my doubts, shortcomings, and disappointments. I feel freed from stressors when I share my hardship with the big guy upstairs.
*These are things that worked for me I've invested a lot of time in this before I could articulate what reflection meant for me. I'm NOT a mental health professional (yet....) so if you are dealing with something traumatic, or just too burdensome to go at alone, I suggest meeting with a certified mental health professional in your community for support.
As always I am wishing you and yours the best life has to offer.
Kelsey
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